The Fiery Pits of HELL IS STUPID!!! HELL SHOULD BE COLD!

I am far more miserable when cold than when hot.  Hot is just a mental game (at least in the summertime hell of Las Vegas).  There is no, "Awe fuck it, I'll just sit here and be extremely COLD."  Cold occupies your soul.  Cold becomes your entire reality and your only purpose in life is to get Un-Cold.  Hoping into an ice cold car, on a freezing cold Monday morning, pulling out with ZERO visibility because you're late for work sucks a thousand times worse than waking up in a pool of sweat because you didn't pay the $600 power bill and they shut off your electricity during the night.

HELL SHOULD BE BUTT-ASS COLD!

(Mom: Stop reading HERE)

But it's not.  And why not?  The deeper you go into the ocean, the colder it gets, right?   ...Volcanoes.  Volcanoes are scary, magnificent, and dangerous.  And they certainly seem to be coming from "down there."  So our masters of logic  a.k.a. bible authors, put it together that Hell, i.e. "Down There" must be full of that HOT GOO that comes out of volcanoes!!!    TADA!  THEY DID IT AGAIN!  How did they weave such a tightly knit theology without divine inspiration????  ...being that there is no god...

"Don't forget a jacket!" Is what every punk-ass christian should be yelling right now...  but they're not.

 

It's always something like, "BURNIN' IN A  IERY HIT OF HELL - A - GOOD WEED!"

You know why Christians and Muslims have such a hard time getting along?

'Cause Jesus and Mohamed were secretly gay lovers!  NON-Fucking-STOP:  BUTT BANGING & SCHLONG SUCKING!  I hate faggot prophets.  Seems like they're everywhere, eh?