So disturbed, feels like im confused

due to my fearless curiosity, i just watched a video of a blonde woman, pictured from her mid torso on up, mid thirties?, panicingly pleading for there not to be video. As she's doing so, she's shot, from a foot or two away (you see the arm/hand/gun), in the forehead. No faking, no acting, no make up or mock ups. Just true horror. I dont really know what to feel or think. sometimes i feel like crying if i start to empathise with her final moments. then if i step back once, i kinda feel sick to my stomach as i see the image of her dead as if it were painted on the inside of my forehead. it saddens me that someone found it necessary to do that. of course i get curious as to their inner workings now.... im a pretty thick skinned, stoic, and smooth sailing guy and i am disturbed as fuck. l8